This one goes out to the beginner-iest beginners out there...
Jiu Jitsu is hard. You're getting your ass kicked all the time and when you aren't getting your ass kicked, you're struggling to remember what happens in BJJ when you aren't getting your ass kicked. It's confusing, techniques go by too fast, and, possibly, you hurt all over. This is what the first year-ish of your training will look like. Some days are better than others, but this is pretty much how it's going to be for a while. But there are a few things you need to know.
1) You are not slowing the rest of us down.
If you feel like you aren't getting something and the rest of the class has moved on, make a note of the technique and pull someone aside in the future to drill it. If they're doing a different technique, ask if you can just repeat the first technique again during your turn. Either way, don't panic. Most techniques aren't learnable on the first try and any training partner worth his/her salt knows that even the simplest technique demands a great many repetitions to perfect.
2) It won't always be this way.
I can't tell you when it will happen, possibly you won't even notice it when it does, but one day you'll wake up, put your gi on, step on the mat and everything won't seem so hard. You may not be kicking the asses that once kicked yours, but you'll start to hold your own. You'll make them work a little harder. Even more importantly, you won't always feel lost all the time. Techniques and instruction you struggled with WILL become easy to follow. You'll "get" things on the first try sometimes. You'll still be confused some of the time, but it will gradually happen less and less.
3) This is kind of why you love Jiu Jitsu anyway, right?
On some level, we all do this because we love getting better. The only way to get better is to work with people who can teach and challenge you. When you work with those people, they're going to beat the crap out of you for a while. Enjoy those little victories. Enjoy knowing that last week you fell for an armbar setup that didn't even phase you this time around. Enjoy getting through a tough warm up only feeling like you're going to vomit when a month ago, you did vomit. It's your progress, so don't deny yourself.
And for those of us coming up through the ranks, here are a few thoughts, peer to peer:
1) Don't act like your partner is slowing you down. Ever.
Unless they are actually not trying, give your newbie friend the benefit of the doubt. Just because sweeps feel like second nature now, remember they didn't always. Don't be afraid to ask your partner if they'd like you to walk them through the more complicated movements. They are trying. Just like you were when you first hopped on the tatami with your belt tied wrong and your pants on backwards. Don't treat them like they're holding you up or ruining your training. Seriously, where do you have to be?
2) Cherish the times you can kick some ass.
As we all know, you weren't always able to collect arms or necks or ankles the way you do now. More than likely, depending on who you roll with, you still can't reliably submit everyone in your class at will. So use those rolls where you can to work on things that are hard for you. Set up the armbar, don't finish it, then sweep or create a technique chain instead. Work for surgical precision and minimal effort on every transition, pass and escape. This is your lab, test those hypotheses that occur to you in the middle of the night.
3) Enjoy other people's progress
It's easy to say and hard to do. Nobody likes feeling like others are passing them by, but enjoy being tested by someone who couldn't step to you six months ago. Don't be irritated by their progress or feel like you're losing your touch if they make you work. If you're putting in your time, you are where you're supposed to be. Besides, to get the best training, you want the best partners, right?
